"Got Breast milk?" asks Baby Em.
There was no doubt in my mind that when I was pregnant with Baby Em I would breastfeed after she was born. The first few weeks were a struggle because of sore nipples, latching issues, and other things. There were times when I wanted to give up but thanks to the support of my husband and others I continued, knowing that it was the best thing for her.
One thing that was never a problem was supply. There was plenty of milk--sometimes even too much milk. I had a freezer full of breast milk that I had pumped before going back to work. Because of this abundant supply I thought that the decision to pump while at work would be super easy. Of course I would be able to produce enough milk for Baby Em to have for the following day. Of course I would never run out or have to formula feed because there was a huge stockpile of breast milk in the freezer for emergencies. Of course I was wrong.
In the first week I learned that even if I have a super awesome pumping machine it will still not be able to get as much milk as my baby. I learned that even with a schedule it's hard to always follow and sometimes a pumping session gets pushed back or even missed. I learned that smelling a baby blanket or looking at pictures will help me produce more milk--not a lot more but more and every drop helps. The list goes on and on and on. It's safe to say that I learned A LOT about pumping in the first week back at work.
Baby Em has been fed formula and survived. It's not what I wanted to do but I couldn't let her starve. I did have extreme guilt for awhile for not being able to supply all of my baby's food but we've made do and I've learned not to be so hard on myself (at least for this issue). When I'm with her I try to feed her myself as much as I can. I feel it helps to strengthen our bond and it helps with supply.
I hope to continue breastfeeding Baby Em as long as it feels right/works for both of us. So until that endtime occurs it's Moo Time for Mommy.